Why I Do This | Maryland Boudoir Photographer
I fell in love with boudoir photography because I saw it as a way to combat societal “norms”.
I am an advocate of self-love and positive body image.
More than ever today, society loves to weigh in on what they think you should look like or weigh. Whether you’re allowed to wear this or that for your size. Whether you should or should not cut or color your hair and how often. How many times has someone said to you or have you said to yourself… “If only you were thinner, if only you didn’t cut your hair, if only… you would be so much prettier.”
I‘ve been there.
Growing up, I was the chubby one of all of my cousins and older brother. As I got older, I was hit with the double whammy with the crowded and protruding teeth. I was always the target of jokes and being made fun of–many times to the point of tears. And when I spent so much time hearing., “You’re a fatso.” “Look at your teeth– they’re so crooked!” over and over again from the people I loved and spent the most time with, I began to accept those things unto myself. The outside negative talk became part of my internal voice.
These things, as I grew, turned into having a negative self-image to the point that I would shy away from and reject compliments. The good things people said about me couldn’t possibly be true because I believed I was too fat and my teeth were too crooked for them to be so.
And into adulthood, standing at 5 ’10”, I can tell you that I’ve been 140lbs. and I‘ve been 218lbs. (NOT during pregnancy might I add) and outwardly I exuded confidence–fake-it-’til-you-make-it-style. All the while those negative voices never quieted. That is, until one day my mid-20s, I decided that I needed to see something, ANYTHING good about myself–that I deserved to feel good about myself. And so I began a self-portrait project so that I could look at myself from the outside. I wanted to see what other people saw in me. More importantly, I wanted to feel good about what I saw in the mirror and I wanted to be able to counter every single negative thought with a positive one.
As the project progressed, I noticed myself opening up to people more, walking with more real confidence and my head held high. Instead of raising people’s compliments with a dismissing counter, I would simply smile and say “thank you”. And while it wasn’t necessarily important that they’d said these things to me. It was imperative that I‘d already said those things to myself and believed it.
On my own path to self-discovery and self-love, I decided I wanted to help other women to view themselves differently. That’s my main goal and the reason why I do this. I want to slay that voice that says you aren’t good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, brave enough, smart enough. I need other women to feel good about themselves. To feel and see themselves as beautiful and worthy. Not 10 or 50lbs from now but RIGHT NOW.
You are perfect just the way you are–even with your perceived imperfections because that’s what makes you unique and special.
I want to be a woman who helps other women to build an unwavering sense of self-confidence. I believe with my whole heart that an empowered woman is a powerful woman.
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.
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